youincompleteme said:

you can do it, if you want for it to happen =) i think you’ll always look gorgeous, now matter what size you are. i’m here if you want motivation and someone to talk to!

yeah, well I’ve hoped it for my whole life and and.. I dunno.. I guess I’m just not trying hard enough or at all cause I’m afraid that I’ll fail and then I’ll feel even worse, cause for certain I know I can’t do it alone. I’m just the kind of person who doesn’t like to do things alone, like I hate walking. kinda. at least alone. If I’d have a friend with me I’d go for a walk, or to cycle.. or anything, it would make it so much easier. I mean, I don’t hate excercising, I love swimming and going for a bike trips and etc, but cause there’s no one to kick me up from the bed or to do things with, I’ll just rather stay home.. I feel sick cause a human being SHOULD exercise or at least move or something once a day.. I do nothing cause I feel so low. I just wish I had someone to lift me up from this pit of self pity..

I just feel disgusted of my body, I can’t look myself from the mirror, I can’t find clothes.. I absolutely hate this.